I have to be mad, I think. What is wrong with me? Why is this silence worse than the chaos? Why?
Honestly, all I wanted was a break, from the constant debates, quarrels, from questions -endless questions, from coordinating classes -scheduling, cancelling, rescheduling, from saying NO for their good and from feeling like the villain constantly. I am not lying. I did. Now both my boys are at camp and I am miserable. I am miserable without them. I want their chatter and cheer, their millions of questions, the cuddling and the kisses, their tantrums and their debates. I want it all. I have to be mad, I think. What is wrong with me? Why is this silence worse than the chaos? Why?
Men are so different. They probably miss the kids too, but their missing comes with a limit. Our barometer is clearly broken. When we planned their camps these two days, which were an overlap, were my “jeele apni life Simran days”. But I have become a Rudali “dil hoom hoom kare, ghabraaye”.The worst part is I can’t even tell my kids about how much I missed them, then I won’t be the cool mom. I will be embarrassing and cringe! Seriously, someone tell me, what does mom being on a break look like, how do I get there? Until then, I have 34 hours and 30 minutes before I am united with my children, and can go back to being annoyed, exhausted, and content.
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