She is not He

Last evening, Karan received his blood reports. In one word, I would say spotless. On the other hand, mine is tainted with red remarks screaming caution/beware. Imagine how disheartened I am feeling. We both are exactly the same age, live a life together of similar choices, but I am lagging behind in my report card. It has been my top reason to worry, why me.I eat all the right things and follow a mindful routine, then why me. One factor that I have been discounting for a long time is our genders. All of this “we are equal in rights” talk has made us forget we are unequal in our life phases, stages and needs.

As I sit in a circle of my girlfriends, we all exchange notes about health. One struggles with cholesterol, another with knee aches and most of us with anxiety and loss of motivation.Each one of us compares herself with her husband’s top performance and activity. Sharp routines inclusive of intense cardio, ice bath, protein shakes and lean meals. Whereas suddenly I feel like sleeping in, eating fuller meals and not sticking to routines.

 It all might be a phase, but the point is my body is transitioning and no one told me about it. So, I sit here judging my incapabilities instead of giving myself space. I feel the shame of others’ limited understanding of my situation and their lazy advice. I must confess I must have treated my older peers with the same false motivation. I wish more women spoke about their phases with pride in order to help the next generation and even our menfolk simply understand us better. So that unknowingly they don’t mock our transitions and make us feel small, when we are actually transitioning from a caterpillar to a butterfly.