10 Conversations to Have With Your Child by Age

It’s the small, daily talks with your child that build the best relationships. Here are 10 adaptations for talks to have with your child for every age.

Ages 3-8: Building the Foundation

• Asking ‘What made you happy today?’ etc. helps them learn the vocabulary of emotions.

• Saying ‘You can always tell me anything, even if you think it will make me angry,’ provides them with psychological safety.
• Asking ‘What do you think is fair?’ helps them develop more moral reasoning.

Ages 8-13: The Middle Years

• Asking ‘Is there anything about school that feels difficult right now?’ helps them open up about their social life.
• Asking ‘What do you think you are really good at?’ helps them reinforce their identity.
• Asking ‘Is there anyone in your class that seems to be lonely?’ develops their social awareness.

Ages 14-18: The Teen Years

• Telling them ‘I know I have made mistakes as a parent and I want to know what you think I should do differently’ is a good way to build trust with them.
• Asking "What do you think is success?" helps them set their own goals.
• Asking ‘What do you think you know about family?’ helps them get connected to their roots.

All Ages

• Telling them ‘I love you for who you are, not for what you do’ shows them that their family loves them for who they are.

The best time to have these conversations is when you have them without looking at each other (i.e. in the car, walking, etc).

Which conversation are you going to have this week?

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