The Sandwich of Emotions 

When my children were little, one of the things that kept them awake at night was the fear of losing us. Sometimes they would wake up crying. Sometimes they would come running into our room in the middle of the night, their little faces wet with tears, asking questions no parent ever wants to hear.

“Mama, what if something happens to you?” “What if Papa dies?” And like all parents do, we would pull them close, hug them tightly, and make promises we had no business making. “We are not going anywhere.”“We will always be here.”"Everything will be okay.” They would cuddle between us, feel reassured, and drift back to sleep.I think about those moments often these days. Because somewhere along the journey of growing up, something shifts.

One day you wake up and realize you are no longer just someone’s child. You are also someone’s parent. And perhaps the hardest part of this transition is realizing that the people who once made you feel invincible are no longer invincible themselves.Many of us belong to the generation caught in the middle. We are raising children while simultaneously worrying about our parents.We are managing homework schedules, school projects, and teenage emotions while also tracking medical reports, doctor’s appointments, blood sugar levels, and medication reminders.And sometimes, usually late at night, a thought sneaks into our minds.

What if?

What if I wake up to a phone call that says, “You need to come right now.”What if this is the emergency we always feared? What if? The problem with “what if” is that it has no off switch. It can keep you awake for hours. Unlike when we were children, we cannot run into our parents’ room anymore. We cannot crawl into bed beside them and ask them to reassure us that everything will be okay.We are old enough to know that no one can make that promise. And yet, there is something our parents can give us. Not a guarantee.Not immortality. Just a promise that they are taking care of themselves. I see this so often.Parents with diabetes who refuse dietary restrictions. Parents with serious health conditions who brush aside doctor’s advice.

Parents who proudly declare, “Kuch nahi hota mujhe.” “Main kar sakta hoon.” “Main kar sakti hoon.” As though caring for themselves is a sign of weakness. But here’s the thing. Your health is no longer only your responsibility. It belongs, in part, to the people who love you. To your children who worry. To your grandchildren who adore you.
To the family that wants you at every birthday, every graduation, every festival, every ordinary Sunday lunch.When you ignore your health, your children don’t just see carelessness.They feel helplessness. Because they know what is at stake. And what is at stake is not just another medical report.

It is YOU.

Living life without your parents is one of the hardest things most of us will ever have to do.No matter how old we are.No matter how successful we become.No matter how many people depend on us.There is something deeply comforting about knowing that somewhere in this world, our parents still exist.That we can call them. cuddle into them or simply hear their voice and be assured of everything is going to be okay. So this week’s column is less of an opinion and more of a plea.To all the parents who have now become grandparents.We need you.We want you.We want you to take your medicines.We want you to go for those walks.We want you to listen to your doctors.We want you to choose yourself often enough to stay with us a little longer.

Not because we are trying to control you.But because we love you.Because we are not ready.Because we still need our parents.And perhaps the greatest gift you can give your children today is not money, property, or inheritance.It is the reassurance that you are doing everything possible to stay healthy, strong, and present.So that together we can watch our children grow.So that your grandchildren can grow up knowing your stories, your laughter, your wisdom, and your love.And maybe, just maybe, when our children see us caring for our own health, they will learn to do the same for themselves.After all, parenting never really ends.It simply changes shape.And even as adults, some part of us is still that little child who wants to hear:“I’m here.And I’m doing my best to stay.”

Ruchira Darda

Ruchira Darda is a certified parenting coach (ACC), NLP Practitioner, author, and the founder of parentwithpurpose.in. She works with families across India through her initiatives WOW, MahaMarathon, and The Yellow Door.