2 min read

“Mommy, who should I be?”

Not knowing who you want to be is not confusion—it’s possibility. Every twist in the journey teaches something valuable, shaping purpose over time. As parents, let children explore, evolve, and dream freely—because life isn’t about rushing to a destination, it’s about discovering yourself along the way.

I went through school and college wondering what I
was going to do with my life. Some of my friends
seemed absolutely sure about their destination and
the way to get
there. As I
moved from one
class to the
other I switched
between ideas
and goals. My
best friend and
my inspiration
in many ways,
Mrs. D, was the first to choose finance. So did I. Then it

changed to Advertising based on my mother’s aspira-
tion to choose a creative field. And I landed up in Law,

you can say purely because of lack of choice.
I have always enjoyed working; I got my first
experience at the age of 16, with an uncle’s export firm
and have switched many jobs since. I bounced around
from market research to advertising, from family law
to bankruptcy law, from product design to owning
my very own event company at the age of 18. The
journey was my destination. I convinced myself
that the current field I was attached to was the field of
my interest and am going to spend the rest of my
life in it.
Flashback: when I was a little girl and if anyone
asked me to who I wanted to be when I grew up, it was
never one thing, it was always a list. Doctor, scientist,
businesswoman, designer, politician and Bollywood
actress. I recollect thinking that if I became an actress
I would pretty much be able to be everything.
One profession sounded stagnating and boring.
Although, it deeply pinched me, that I had no
clear inclination. How did my friends know? What
was I missing out on?
Today I understand that in life the journey was my

biggest gift. I got the opportunity to change the experi-
ences of people around me, be it women or children,

through my club Wider Opportunities for Women and

The Yellow Door. I utilized my learning from the vari-
ous fields of experience to construct these institutions

from the ground up, negotiating, vetting contracts
designing the marketing plans to creatively designing
programmes and products. I felt independent and so
sure. Suddenly I had a mission, thanks to my marriage
and my children, who shaped this journey for me.
Everything takes form and shape; eventually, all it
needs is patience. We as parents must remember to not

burden our children with the responsibility of select-
ing a goal at this very moment. Ask him who he wants

to be today and encourage that option. We need to
simply increase their exposure and allow them the
luxury of an informed choice. There is a business
model in the game of cricket as well as creativity in
being a surgeon.
In the desire to reach quickly we fail to enjoy the
view from the window. In that magical moment of
staring out of the window mindlessly, the world’s next
big idea sparks.

Ruchira Darda

I am Ruchira Darda, a relationship coach, parenting expert, author, and entrepreneur with over 16 years of experience. Based in Mumbai, I work extensively in the areas of mindful living and emotional wellness. I am a TEDx speaker and focus on personality identification to help individuals and families build stronger, healthier relationships. I also lead and actively support initiatives such as the Lokmat MahaMarathon.


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