The first time you try to make love it definitely
doesn’t feel like what Dakota Johnson felt in fifty

shades of grey. Rather it’s awkward and uncom-
fortable. Eventually you figure out what works and

what doesn’t
but until then
you can’t let
your partner’s

ego get damaged and yousimply fake it!!
As a new entrant into Mr K’s family I was absolutely lost.
Everything was different, the way of life, the company,
the conversation, even the food!! Every time someone
asked me a question I gave a lost smile signalling
acceptance. Suddenly you have a new set of Ma and Pa
and a couple of siblings and although you don’t feel
instant love you manage to fake it!!
I was advised as a bride to be that “for the first two

years don’t express yourself .. “ and I remember think-
ing “that’s old school, I am an educated and independ-
ent woman if I have an opinion I must share it..” Like a

flower blooms from a bud, maturity sprouts from expe-
rience. Inexperienced and foolish

I was quick to say “this is a
better way of doing that.”
If you are unmarried,
you will eventually
learn like animals
woman demarcate
their territories, and
the new lioness is
always a potential
threat. The cliche
story of mother-in-law
versus the bride springs
from the inadequate

understanding of this prin-
ciple. The advice was not wrong

it just had to be differently worded that if you don’t like
it or you disagree .. fake acceptance and eventually
once you become a part of the machine you will realise
you begin to feel it.
This phenomenon actually works with everything..
Including confidence and happiness, you just need to
practice it. After a heated argument with the husband I
have two choices either I leave the party or show him
that I can have great time without him, and before I
know it I am actually smiling from cheek to cheek .. I
walk upto him and kiss him .. I can’t remember why we

fought, all I know is that I love him. Once you begin pre-
tending to be happy you will begin to feel happy. You

can’t enter the sales pitch thinking I will be confident if
I get the deal, will you be able to seal the deal if you
don’t exude confidence?
To enjoy power you must begin to feel powerful, to feel

happiness pretend to be happy, to dwell in peace prac-
tice feeling confident and secure, then it doesn’t matter

whether the chicken came before the egg or not, once
you believe it, it will spread like a wild epidemic into
everyone’s mind. Once you have decided to be the boss
of your life .. I say “Fake it till you feel it.”

Ruchira Darda

I am Ruchira Darda, a relationship coach, parenting expert, author, and entrepreneur with over 16 years of experience. Based in Mumbai, I work extensively in the areas of mindful living and emotional wellness. I am a TEDx speaker and focus on personality identification to help individuals and families build stronger, healthier relationships. I also lead and actively support initiatives such as the Lokmat MahaMarathon.